You’re in a conversation, it’s going well and then suddenly things fall apart. Whatever you said (or didn’t say) seemed to upset the other person. What went wrong?
There are five general reasons why conversations go wrong, and once you understand them you’ll recognize them right away, helping you course-correct.
- Not open to hearing things you don’t like or agree with
- Focusing on yourself and your needs
- Assuming the things you think you know about others are accurate
- Needing to fix, solve, know best, judge, or be right
- Valuing sameness
One of the biggest misconceptions about conversations that become difficult or uncomfortable is that they are bad.
The truth is difficult and uncomfortable conversations are critical to your growth and success.
Conflict is never bad. We need differing opinions to innovate, collaborate, and push the boundaries to create new opportunities and possibilities. It’s how you learn and grow.
How you deal with differing opinions makes conversations difficult or uncomfortable.
When someone says no, it doesn’t mean they are trying to be disrespectful. It means they disagree. Rather than doubling down on control {confrontation}, it’s an opportunity to be curious to better understand their perspective and experience. This doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with what you hear, the goal is to understand it.
But listening to things you don’t like or agree with is not something you learn to feel comfortable with.
As a result, most surround themselves with people who think like them and problem-solve the way they do. They may even hire a team that feels like an extension of themselves.
Humans value sameness because it feels safe and comfortable.
But sameness keeps you stuck, limits your growth, gets in the way of doing your job effectively, and creates unnecessary conflict.
What if you had a way to make conversations better & easier?
While there is a lot we don’t know about the future, we know that difficult and uncomfortable conversations will continue to be a HUGE part of it.